Money: do you discuss it with friends?
Often, people find that discussing finances with friends and family is anything but easy. We delve into the reasons behind this – and offer pros and cons for talking about your bank balance with those close to you. Read on…
Shame
In debt? Or perhaps you don’t have anywhere near as much money as those closest to you. The latter may mean you find yourself bowing out of social engagements to save some much-needed funds.
It’s understandable, therefore, that some people prefer to keep their finances a secret – and instead tell those closest to them that they aren’t joining family and friends for that meal because they have mistakenly made a double booking and need to be elsewhere.
The Money Helper site offers some friendly advice for those who feel like they have to keep their lack of funds private from their friends – head here for some tips, which include taking control of meet-ups and arranging to do free or cheap activities with pals.
Many people will find themselves tightening our belt at some point or other – and finances needn’t spell shame or worry. Support is available for people who need it, via the debt charity, StepChange, for anyone who feels their spending is out of hand.
StepChange has helped 7.5 million people with debt problems since 1993, allowing them to take back control of their finances and their lives. You might not feel like you can open up to family or friends about your finances, but perhaps you could contact the charity’s support centre for more information as a starting point.
Pride
Lots of people will be reluctant to tell others they’re not doing so well financially, on account of their own thoughts and feelings around money – and where they should be by, say, a certain age or stage in their life.
Perhaps you thought you’d be living in a bigger house by now, or maybe you feel embarrassed that you can’t afford the same fancy holidays as *that* friend who’s living the highlife on Facebook or Instagram.
It’s worth remembering that social media is nothing more than a highlight reel of someone’s life – and it doesn’t always offer a true picture. Comparison is the thief of joy, too – and working towards the financial goals you’ve set for yourself (and not those defined by someone else’s level of success) is surely the way to go?
Privacy
Some people comfortably refer to themselves as an open book, while others prefer to keep more ‘personal’ matters to themselves – and for many, money matters are personal.
For the latter camp, then, the need to keep some aspects of their life private is crucial. After all, we live in an age where ‘oversharing’ via social media seems to be the norm. It’s no surprise that those people want to keep some things away from the often prying ears and eyes of others.
Talking About Money with Friends and Family: The Pros and Cons
If you’re in a sticky situation financially and feel as though you’d benefit from the help and support of your loved ones, it could be the right time to talk. Similarly, if you’re in a position where you’re fibbing to your social circle when you can’t join them on yet another night out, you may find that talking about money makes sense. It could be quite freeing, too.
Consider the best person or people to talk too, though. If you’re a largely private person, you won’t want to talk negatively about your finances to the neighbourhood gossip. Neither would it be a good idea to discuss a recent windfall to those standing at the queue in the bank.
It’s good to talk to those you trust, though – and The Good Men Project offers a wealth of advice about talking about money, ideal for those who are keen to explore the topic further after reading this article.
Do you discuss your finances with your friends – and if not, are you comfortable sharing why? Join the conversation over on Facebook.
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Until next time…
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